A year ago, I wrote a post about the things that I valued that I refused to change after I had a baby. Call it naive or stubborn, but looking back I can still say that those things are still the values I strive for.
But like it or not, things have changed. These days I barely even notice as I’m pretty much settled into our new normal. Even so, I can say without a doubt that I’ve changed a lot over the past year.
I care a lot less about what others think. I would say this is my favorite change that I’ve gone though as before becoming a Mom I spent way too much time caring what people thought about me. The judging is intense and everyone has their own opinions on parenthood, but when you have instinct on your side you come to accept that you know best for your child.
This also makes me more accepting of other people’s views when it comes to parenthood. I’ve always been a “you do you and I’ll do me” type of girl, but this has solidified over the past year and I try my best to support others, of all stages of life, rather than judge.
I pay way more attention to the the little things. It seems that things with Buel change every single day and the smallest of things become exciting. Every little milestone is cause for celebration and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Our routine can seem mundane at times, but I try to remember how quickly the time has flown by already and try my best to soak up every second that I can.
I have learned to not sweat the small stuff. On the same vein, I have learned how much some small things just do not matter. I try my best to be prepared and spend the majority of my time prepping and organizing us for the future, but I’ve learned that no matter how prepared you are things will always go wrong. It’s been a big lesson in letting go of control and I go with the flow as much as my personality allows me.
I have become extremely protective of my time. To say I am organized is an understatement. I plan out the majority of our work week to the hour and it keeps things running smoothly for the most part. This isn’t new, but being diligent about fitting in all of the things that are important to me is a nice side effect of motherhood for me. I get to the gym when I schedule it, because it’s all the time I have. I’m productive at work because I have to be home for my family. And you better believe that when I get some time to myself, I make the most of it.
Lastly, I’m more patient with myself. That same grace that I’ve learned to give to others? I’ve learned to give it to myself. No matter how hard I try, I will never be perfect and it’s taken me thirty years and a baby to accept that. My parents were not perfect, but what I’ve realized from having my own child is how hard it is to find a balance between taking care of yourself and your child.
At the end of the day, my goal as a mother is to make sure that Buel knows how much I love him. And honestly, I really can’t put that into words so my hope is that my actions speak for themselves.